The Ultimate Sacrifice

I absolutely love the Christmas season!  We thought we would be back in Texas for this one, spending time with dear friends and family.  For different reasons that wasn't possible this year.  I thought facing that fact, especially as all the facebook posts poured in of others with family, Christmas

traditions being upheld, the look and feel of Christmas all around in pictures (not in Uganda!), would make me feel really sad.  I just knew there was a huge pity party in my future.

But it didn't happen.  God was so faithful to remind me of the ultimate sacrifice which made my life not worth pitying, but praising Him.  There was one before us that was the true missionary, sacrificing it all.

"He gave up his place with God and made himself nothing.  He was born to be a man and became like a servant."  Phillipians 2:7

That is true sacrifice.  That is the reason for this Christmas season.  Jesus left a place with God to come to earth.  This earth.  To be ridiculed, beaten, laughed at.....every day of his life.... all from the people he came here for.  I can't imagine that level of sacrifice.  That level of homesickness and longing to be back with God.

So, instead of being sad or disappointed in what we didn't have, I chose to focus on all the miracles and gifts all around us.  I am choosing everyday to try to give more of me for Him, in some small resemblance (very small) of the gift and sacrifice that was already made for me.

I hope you and your family had an incredible time this Christmas.  Cherishing the things that are the true gifts in our lives.  And if you found yourself alone physically, I hope you felt His love and arms wrapped tightly around you.  I hope that you allow Him to fill that loneliness when others can't.

Merry Christmas!

Making new traditions with new additions to the family

Tom & Apio

It's a Dog's Life!

We had a bit of a surprise left for us outside our gate a couple of days ago....... a box of puppies.

They look like German Shepherd, or at least half German.  4 of them, which made our kids think that each one was specifically placed there just for them.  They immediately each claimed one as their own, named them and started bonding before Jason and I even knew what had happened to us.

What is a mom to do?  Taking a puppy away would be heartbreaking to any kid, but to ours, it would have been extra heartbreak on top of an already very emotional month for them.

So we still have them and it looks like it is too late to turn back now.  The puppies can't be older than 3 weeks and I honestly didn't think they would even survive the night.  Each kid has been taking care of their puppy, bathing it, feeding it and is responsible for their puppy if it goes potty.

 

Here is the trouble..... we already have 6 dogs.  4 are for security purposes, one is a pet dachshund and the other is another stray that just hasn't found a home yet (but hopefully will very soon).  WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH 10 DOGS??

Luckily we may have a possibility.  We recently started a team house for visiting teams, interns, adopting families and other missionaries visiting the Jinja area.  That house has a large lot and will need security dogs at it as well.  We had already planned on sending two of ours there and Jason was nervous about only having 2 here, so I may have come up with a solution.  We'll have our current 2 Germans train up these pups for security.  Once they are big enough the 2 can go to the team house and the kids' 4 can guard here.  Maybe this will work?  You're right, we are just crazy.

His Peace through Pain.

Here are some of the pictures that I wish I could have shared earlier.  This is our family in July of this year.  I am getting closer to being able to share the whole story, but just not quite there yet.  Thank you for your continued prayers.
~The Segner Family

One Day at a Time - Thursday

I wanted to let everyone know that Friday and Saturday will have to wait until next week.  I am not going to have much computer time to be able to blog those days, but I promise to try to make them up soon.  I really appreciate the response you all have had and thank you for sharing my blog with others.

We started the day off with the usual routine of breakfast and then school.  Around mid morning Hadlee and I took a break though to run to one of our favorite places here, a local orphanage.  We just spent some time loving on the kids.  She is such a little mommy and LOVES being there.  It is so incredible to see her heart for the kids.

 We make our rounds to all the age groups, but it is clear which part Hadlee adores the most.

After about an hour we were heading back home to wrap up school.  It is so nice to be able to take advantage of this one on one time while we have my mom visiting.  Another thing that Jason and I are trying to do is to be intentional about spending time with each kid individually each month.  I mean, obviously we spend unplanned time with them too, and it isn't like we have to pencil them in.  What I mean is that we decided it would be good to take each child out to lunch once a month with just mommy and daddy.  There are so many changes in our lives lately and we want to make sure that they still know they are so very special to us in the midst of it all.  So, each week one kid gets to go to lunch with both of us which equals to once a month for them.  Today was Karson's day.  It was clear to see how great an idea this was because he has been counting down the days all week.  Before that could happen though I needed to get lunch made for the kids that were staying behind, Meme, Tom and Apio (I mentioned Apio yesterday and Tom is our day guard that also lives on the grounds with us.  They both join us for lunch each day and sometimes dinner).  I had everything ready to go for them so Jason, Karson and I loaded up and headed out for our special time.

Mostly it is just very important to us that each child knows that they can talk to us about anything.  They are changing so quickly and I don't want to wake up a year from now and realize all that I have missed because I didn't take those moments to check in with them.  Here is Karson at lunch.....

With one of his favorite drinks here, Krest, which is a VERY bitter lemon drink.

Goodness, where has my little boy gone????  And, in case you are wondering, he really doesn't want us to cut his hair.  Personally, I think the reason is that when we go to the villages, the kids are so fascinated with it that they just want to touch it and mess with it and to Karson it is like an incredible scalp massage!

Right after lunch we rushed back so Jason could head out to the village and I could have Luganda lessons.  I am working very hard to become fluent in the language and I am lucky to have an incredible instructor.  Jason and the kids want to learn as well, but they are settling for conversational Luganda at the moment.  I really think that Karson has a knack for picking it up and will work with him more as he gets older.  Even Pierce uses some daily and can count to ten in Luganda.

Jason headed to the village today solo so he could focus more on medical care.  There are quite a few cases of malaria and some special needs cases that he needed to follow up on deeper in the village. You can hear more about his day at: http://thesegners.blogspot.com/

We have a friend in town visiting that is a nurse back in the states so she went with him and her two kiddos hung out with us.  The rest of the day was spent with regular mommy stuff.  The same things that I am sure are similar no matter where you live in the world.  Kid chaos, cleaning, laundry, getting dinner prepared, etc.

Thank you God for blessing us with another day together, for good health and our family and friends.  We pray for all of those less fortunate.  May we bring you Glory in all of this.

One Day at a Time - Wednesday

Today started out with school for the kids.  Jason and I had a meeting with the NGO at 9:30am so we got started a bit earlier and then were so thankful that Meme was here to finish things up.

The meeting lasted about an hour and then we headed back to the house to finish up the last of school, help with lunch and visit with our friend Apio that helps out with both our crazy lives and with the ministry as a translator.  She had to attend a burial today for her 26yr old sister in law.  The sister-in-law was traveling home late last night after visiting with her mother, just outside of town.  They had encouraged her to stay the night, since it was late, but she was confident that she could catch a boda and make it home.  Unfortunately she didn't.  Along the way a group of guys attacked her and murdered her.  She left behind a three year old daughter.  Hearing things like this never gets easier and we hear these stories all the time.  Please say a prayer for that family.  For strength for the grandmother who is now raising her 3yr old granddaughter.

Immediately after lunch I had Luganda lessons with my tutor, while Jason readied the bags for the village.  Once a week we try to do a village day that involves our children and today was the day.  We make it more about relationship and less about medical care, but Jason still likes to be prepared in the case of an emergency, especially with malaria care.

We were a bit nervous on the ride out because there has been substantial rainfall lately and the dirt roads quickly become mud traps.  Luckily all was well, aside from a few scares with some slips and slides along the road.  Thank to 4-wheel drive we made it to Kogoma Gate.  The kids always seem to have a blast when we are out there.  Well, I should specify the older boys.  Pierce and Hadlee are still hit or miss.  Often it has to do with how much of a nap they got on the drive out there, or how much their hair has been pulled by curious children in the village. They love Pierce's white hair and blue eyes.  Sometimes they have a really great time and sometimes they are ready to leave after about 30minutes.  We still think it is so important to involve them when we can.

Karson having fun with futbol!

So, I have a hilarious story for you today.  Soon after we arrived the boys spotted a baby goat.  I mean brand new baby still with a dried umbilical cord.  They were so thrilled and this kept them occupied for most of the afternoon.  As things were wrapping up though we couldn't find Everett.  We just started to get to the concerned, when Jason finally spotted him just past the futbol field, slightly in to the woods.  Jason walked over and asked what he was doing and he said that he was hiding and trying to set the baby goat free.  He had carried it as far away as he could and with tears in his eyes said that he had to let it go because the owner of the goat said that they were going to eat it.  He was so very heartbroken.  Luckily we weren't arrested for trying to steal a goat and Jason got the goat back before anyone realized what was happening.

 Everett before the failed rescue attempt.  Such a sweet heart he has.

After a long day Meme (my mom) treated us all to one of our favorite local places for dinner and we ended the day with an amazing sunset.  God is so good!

One Day at a Time - Tuesday

After the day we had yesterday, I decided to not leave the confines of the gates of our compound today!  In reality, we just had so much that needed to be accomplished here at the house.

For the past 11 weeks I have been hosting a bible study at our house for other missionary women in the community.  We have been going through Beth Moore's study "Believing God."  It has been incredible.  We had our last weekly study last Tuesday so today we did a brunch together before we begin another one next week.  So yummy!!!  It was a beautiful morning so we met outside under the cabana and enjoyed a different breakfast item brought by each person.  It was great to have that time of fellowship together.  It was funny because one person mentioned that they had seen macaroni and cheese in town and I really thought the brunch might end just then so everyone could go see if there was any left on the shelves.  

While I was enjoying ladies' time, Jason was doing home school with the kids.  As an offer of gratitude, I slipped him a plate of all the delicious breakfast foods!  Every Tuesday he has has the task of keeping the kids occupied so we could have our time together, so it was a well deserved cinnamon roll!

Lunch today was rice, beans  and pineapple.  We usually try to eat very Ugandan for our lunches and at least one to two dinners a week.  Not only is it delicious  but it really helps on our food budget.  We you can get the best pineapple you have ever tried for around $0.50, you might as well take advantage of it!

After lunch it is rest or nap time for the kids and office work for the grown ups.  Usually we are able to get most of our office work completed on Mondays, but yesterday's craziness didn't allow much time for admin stuff.  Healing Faith does not have a paid person on staff at the moment to help take care of a lot of the administrative side of things so we handle most of it ourselves with the help of an incredible volunteer staff and board back home.  Jonathan Stark of Daniel Stark Law Firm dedicates so much time and services to help with Healing Faith's finances and anything relating to the non profit side of the business.  We are so thankful for all the help that people donate to make this ministry work.

Some of the office work that keeps us busy is writing newsletters, budget reports, tracking ministry expenses and reports, dealing with lawyers on this side of things to keep work visas current, planning mission team itineraries, malaria research and more.  Usually this takes 1-2 office days for us here.

After rest/work time it was on to lawn care.  We have not had any luck locating a decent lawn mower that is in any sort of reasonable price range, but have a rather large yard to manage.  We did recently purchase two Ugandan weed eaters though........

This is Sparks and her brother's name is Johnny (football).  The kids named them!  Unfortunately even they can't keep up with the grass that grows during rainy season. So until we figure out a lawnmower solution, we have a few guys that come in with their real weed eaters about every 3 weeks and help us out.  The kids follow behind and help rake things up and there is usually always someone local that asks for the grass trimmings, so they load them up in sugar sacks.  Pierce thought it was funny today to run around pushing over the packaged grass bags.  He gets that mischievousness from his daddy!

The day wrapped up with omelets made with the freshest ingredients you can get!  All the yard work must have made the kids hungry because our family of 7 went through 2.5 dozen eggs and Mom, Jason and I only had an all together total of 7 eggs!  The weather was still amazing so we enjoyed this dinner outside under hundreds of huge fruit bats flying overhead.  Meme finished up the boys' school book, one of my favs - Pippi Longstocking, and then it was lights out.  Although Pierce always manages a way out of bed somehow.

And that is a look at our Tuesday! (No machine guns today!)

One Day at a Time - Manic Monday

Not to try to ruin the picturesque image I left with you with yesterday of us lounging by the pool, next to the beautiful Nile river while birds chirp and monkeys play, but OH MY GOODNESS!!!!  Can I just say how thankful to God I am for our day of rest and family time that we had yesterday, and the fact that we went to bed early because WHAT A DAY IT HAS BEEN!!!!

Let's get right to business...........

7am- wake up to the cries of Pierce and our cat (called kitty meow meow) for milk.  Seriously, the cat can be sound asleep until she hears the word milk and then I swear her cry mimics Pierce's!

- get breakfast for the kids and try to sneak in some quiet time.  I know, I know, I should be waking up before the kids to truly have 'quiet' time with Him, but my eyes just won't cooperate these days!

- we usually try to start school around 9am, but this morning we knew things would be crazy so we started early.  Karson is doing 2nd grade, Everett 1st and Hadlee kindergarten work.   Pierce hates to be left out so I have some pre-K stuff that I try to do with him.  Being 100% transparent here though, Leap Frog Letter Factory, more often than not, becomes his lesson for the day!  You have to give me some breaks though, I am only human!

- Here in Uganda there is something called your Local Chairman (LC1).  You could equate it to a neighborhood mayor, without the HOA fees!  Well, we knew that we were supposed to officially register with the LC when we moved into this house.   We have been putting this off due to many reasons.  One being that it would inevitably come with a request for money that he should not be asking for and then a decision for us to make.  Do we a) pay the bribe and get on with life or b) refuse to pay the bribe, remind him that he should not be asking for this money in the first place, and hopefully stand firm that we are not to be bribed in the future.

   Well, due to circumstances that we will get to at a later time, we could not put off registering any further.  Jason and I head off on foot to the LC's office to become officially part of the neighborhood at 11:45 (after getting all paperwork finished up and running into town to print documents.....man do I miss having a printer!).

Along the way we almost get plowed over by one of these ugly things, no lie!

Apparently we stood between him and the local dumpster and that is not a safe place to be!  And don't ask me what that grotesque thing is hanging from it's neck, because I still have no clue!  Just disgusting !

- We arrive to the LC's office just to find out that he is not home.  We call to actually set up an appointment (I know that would have made sense to begin with, but it is not customary here).  He asked us when we could come back, to which we replied 2:30pm.  He replied " Great, so I will see you in 30min". (yes, you read correctly, it was 11:45 at this time)

 So, we rushed home, got lunch ready for 9 people (meanwhile I am also changing out of my 'appropriate' Ugandan attire into clothes that I wouldn't have a heat stroke in, in this weather).

Jason and I literally piled some noodles on a disposable plate, shoveling it into our mouths as we walked back to the LC's office, tossing the plates in the maribu stork infested dumpster along the way, and arrived for our appointment.  

    

The LC welcomed us to chairs on his porch, aka office, and I used my best Lugandan to make a good first impression "Oli Otya, Moojabale" (How are you?  Thank you for your work/job).  The problem was that there was already a guy there with business that we sat through for 45min while they took care of business.

 I had Luganda lessons at 1pm so by this time I had to figure out a clever, yet respectful way to excuse myself and not offend the guy that we are hoping to build a relationship with (for very important reasons!)  Luckily, there was a small break in between his helping of this other man so I took my leave, ran to the nearest boda boda (motorcycle taxi) to get home asap.  My instructor was waiting for me at the gate so I made my apologies and ushered him in (only after guaranteeing him that our dogs wouldn't attack him....Ugandans HATE dogs).  I don't think it was a mere coincidence that his first lesson for me was how to properly tell someone that you are sorry for inconveniencing them.  It is Nsonyiwa, just in case you ever find yourself in a similar experience! (surely it was coincidence!)

 At the end of my hour long lesson, Jason still wasn't back from the LC so I went to our driveway to wait for him, to let him in the gate, eager to hear how it went.  Little did I realize that a herd of cows were grazing on our patch of land between the fence line and street and I was plopped down in the line of fire.  Long story short, after a 20,000 shilling ($8) 'fee', our registration was complete.

- We are at roughly 3:30pm at this point and I realize that I haven't even made my Monday market run and needed things for dinner.  I asked a close Ugandan friend of mine if she needed anything from the market and needed a ride so we loaded up and headed to my weekly run. 

I pulled in to the same parking lot I always do, every Monday, only this week it was late in the day instead of early morning, like usual.  As we pull in this VERY angry security guard starts waving a machine gun at us, yelling something I couldn't understand (if only I was past lesson 3 in my Luganda!).  I asked Apio what was wrong and she reassured me that he was probably just drunk. (how is the fact that this angry guy with a gun was only drunk supposed to be reassuring????).  

He would not let me park and I had no other options.  I quickly looked at my list, decided what I had to have for dinner and asked Apio if she would mind getting it for me and gave her money for a boda back home, because I had to leave quickly (at this point the armed man was beating on our van.)

- A little bit frazzled, but safely home, all was well!  I got to skype with a friend that I dearly miss and (one of the perks of living here) got to eat an amazing dinner fixed by my dear husband.  We are able to get the BEST cuts of meat from our butcher.  Seriously, I was able to cut my meat with my fork, it was so tender and we paid about $2/lb for it.  Such a treat.  Please don't get me wrong.....even on our worst days here, I would not trade a day of it for anything.  God has given us such a peace through it all and we are truly blessed.

Ahh just another Manic Monday...

One Day at a Time - Sunday!

Often we get the question, "What does a normal week look like for you?".  This is an almost impossible question to answer though because we hardly have a "normal" week.  We have a weekly schedule ( I love schedules!), but I don't know that we have had one week that we have been able to complete it exactly as planned.

So, I thought I would take you through this week!  It will be quite an accomplishment for me because it would mean that I will blog each day.  Maybe this project will get me into a good routine of blogging more regularly.  Here we go...................

Sunday!!!!  I love Sundays.  Jason and I have focused more on truly making our Sundays a day of rest and a day of family time.  Focused, intentional time spent praising God, learning more about him and loving on our kids.  We have been truly blessed here by a relationship that we formed last fall with one of the rafting companies here in town, not only providing hours of entertainment to adrenaline junkies, but also doing some amazing things through their non profit.  We met them last fall when my brother-in-law was visiting and wanted to fish the Nile River.  We went through their company.  They offered to let us come swimming anytime we wanted to at no cost.  I don't know if they realized what they were offering or how much we would take them up on their offer!

Usually, at least one to two times a month, we load up in the van and head out to the pool right after church.  The pool is right on the amazingly beautiful Nile River and 80% of the time we are the only ones there on a Sunday afternoon.  Occasionally there will be the random backpacking crowd, just in from kayaking or rafting the rapids, but it is almost always peaceful.  JUST what we need at the end of one week, to renew for the start of another. 

Our Sunday this week:

- quiet time in the morning!  The kids lounge around, eat breakfast, watch a movie, while Jason and I have some coffee (for me)/ tea (for him) and time with the Lord.

- Acacia Community Church, usually 10:30-12:30, depending on Pastor Terry and the Holy Spirit within him :)

- load up the van and head to the Nile!

- Jason gets the kids in swimsuits and sunblock while I order lunch for everyone.  Even Meme gets in on the pool action. 

- the kids swim, the adults rest poolside while we wait on lunch

- while we are eating, a real treat for the kids is that the camp has a tv with cartoons!

- after forcing the kids to let their food settle, it is back to the pool, and usually we join in on the swimming at this point! 

- Once everyone is adequately water logged we head back for some more cartoon time and the adults are usually able to get in a game or two, usually Ticket to Ride or Rivals of Catan

- load up and head back to town (it is about a 20min drive to the river)

- stop at Mrs. Sheryl's for samosas!!!  These are an incredible local food that can be stuffed with just about anything.  We get the beef!  It is a palm sized, triangular, fried food that is the closest thing we have to fast food. (of course, by fast, I mean that we have to call on Saturday to place the order and be there at a certain time to pick them up on Sunday, but it is close!)  At $0.19 each, you can't really beat them after a day at the pool when no one feels like cooking.

- Usually by the time we eat and shower we are all ready for bed. 

This week was exceptionally long and Jason and I crashed by 8:45!  Man, are we getting old!

 Even the drive is peaceful and amazing!

 This time together is so needed at the end of our weeks and we are building memories that I hope the kids keep forever.

Sleepy, sleepy kids at the end of the day.  Pierce was doing the head-bob and Everett tucked him in close.

Sunday is Samosa day at the Segner house.  It only takes about 3 dozen to feed this crew.

Dead Ant, dead ant!

Long time, no read!  Sorry for the delay.  And I hate to start off an absence with venting, but sometimes a girl needs to vent.  And this is one of those times.  Prepare yourself for yelling.....

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF ANTS!!!!!

This is an image of the base of our window...inside.... all ants!

There! Got it out of my system.  Thanks!  There are many pest issues living in Africa, but I have to say the one that has gotten to me the most lately are these pesky ants everywhere.  It started with hordes of - for lack of a better word - piss ants.  Now, I realize that I am probably not supposed to say that word, but that is all I have ever heard them called.  Blame my upbringing (sorry Mom!).  I really don't have a potty mouth though.  In fact, ask any close friend, and they can tell you how I can barely even let myself form certain words of the English language in my head.  And then there are the few Ugandan terms for certain animals around here that make me blush every time I hear them spoken.  Not a potty mouth, but these piss ants are really starting to p*** me off!  They are everywhere.  Sometimes crawling up our wall or along our curtain in groups of thousands.  Now they have let the word get out and their larger ant friends have decided to join them in our house.  Luckily neither of these varieties seem to bite, but they get into everything. 

This morning I stumbled into the kitchen after a long night of little sleep, just anxious for some coffee to get the day going.  I patiently waited on the water to boil and was about to pour it into the french press when I happen to glance down and see that there were about 20 little ants in the water.  Had to start over.  Then I realized that I had never rinsed out my thermal coffee mug from the day before.  I dumped the remains in the sink and out with it came about 5 drowned large ants.  Ants, ants, ants. 

Vent over, thanks for listening!

Market Monday

With today being Monday and the start of a new week, it was the day I go to the market.   The open market is where I get all of our produce for the week.  It is very expensive to get fresh produce in the States, but here in our part of Uganda that is not the case. It makes it very nice to be able to get fresh fruits and veggies to feed the family.

Bags containing things like rice, beans,  sugar, g-nuts, posho

The market is always an adventure. I have come to know roughly what each item should cost.  I am also able to bargain and make good deals with people.  When something seems too high I always ask “Is that Muzungu price.” This always seems to get a laugh from everyone and I get a better price.  The tough part is that you may have 15-20 different people selling the same item and they all want your business. Each person is just trying to support themselves and their family, so it makes it hard.  

Here are some examples of what we get in the market and the current market prices converted to US dollars. .

Our haul from the market today

Tomatoes = 26 cents per pound

Irish potatoes = 20 cents per lb

Green Peppers = 9 cents each

Fresh Pineapple = 50 cents each – The pineapple here is amazing!  Jason would not touch it at home, but loves to eat it here.

Watermelon = 76 cents each

Cucumbers = 35 cents per lb

Rice = 43 cents per lb

Beans = 34 cents per lb

Posho =  26 cents per lb – Posho is maize that is ground up to make a flour.  This is a staple of the Ugandan diet.  We have learned to make a wonderful corn bread with it.

Shelled G-nuts (peanuts) = 69 cents per lb

Avocado = 19 cents each – The avocados here are huge!

Matoke Bananas = 3 cents per banana – These are a type of banana that is picked while still green.  They are peeled and boiled to make a dish called Matoke.  You then pour a sauce of ground up g-nuts over the top like gravy.  It is another staple for Ugandans, Jason and the kids love it.


The amazing deals and the incredible taste of the fresh produce here is just one of the many things that I love about this country.  Just wanted to share a little bit of what life is like shopping for our family.

Follow up to Brokenness

  I wanted to share more of what has been on my heart.  If for no other reason than so that others can see that I have the same struggles that you do.  I am still of the flesh, born a sinful person, and I struggle. 

  I have been reflecting upon what I was feeling and working through yesterday.  God is good all the time though and this morning He has been especially good in showing me why I was weary.  Why I was feeling broken.  It was because I was too caught up in ME.  I was still hanging on too much to all the things I wasn’t getting done, the sleep that wasn’t coming, the dinners that were going unprepared.  Even though I felt like I was focusing on the needs of others, the needs of baby Jason and his parents, the other pressing issues that we have at the moment, the bottom line was I was still focused on ME.  I was letting myself get weary, not my circumstances getting me that way. 

  My time with the Lord this morning could have not been more dead on to what I needed to hear.  Reflecting on a study that Beth Moore has, has helped me see this also.

Gal 6:9-10 “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.  So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

  Yes, I was still trying to do good, and that trying was sincere, but ultimately I am the one who allows satan to tell me that isn’t enough.  To allow him to make me feel broken.  God is faithful regardless of when I let ME get in the way.  His promise gives me strength.  In Isaiah 58:6-11, he promises us that if we are to spend ourselves for Him, and call on Him,

He will guide us continually.

He will satisfy our desires.

Our light will rise in darkness.

He will make our bones strong.

We shall be like a watered garden, whose waters do not fail.

So I humbly come to you and ask that you not only keep the baby in your prayers, the parents, but also myself.  Pray that I never become weary doing good for His glory.  Pray that I continue to let go of ME and cling to His strength, no matter the circumstance.  Pray that I never give satan a foothold in any of this.  I will pray the same for you.

And, Praise God, baby Jason is showing so many signs of recovery.  And although there are still those other pressing matters that are unresolved, others that need our help, I have a renewed strength today.  So thank you for your prayers.  They are making such a difference.

Broken but NOT Defeated

Broken but NOT Defeated........

That pretty much sums up life right now.  I am feeling very broken lately, but underneath the weariness, emotional exhaustion, and daily craziness of life, there is still this ever present feeling of hope.  Not hope that I am finding in my circumstances, but hope in the purpose and plan that brought us here in the first place.  Hope in His promise.  Hope that even if baby Jason doesn’t live long in this earthly life, there is a larger purpose for his precious time on this earth and for his grieving parents.  This feeling inside, as words are escaping me to try to describe it, is ever present.  I have never felt the Holy Spirit in a way such  as I do right now.  This peace amongst chaos.  The knowledge, with unwavering certainty, that I am not defeated.  HE is NOT defeated.  HE has already won this battle, this war.  This feeling I can’t describe is the feeling of knowing you are on the winning team.